I've been bored recently. I'm visiting family in Ohio and I'm dying. So, I've been spending lots of time taking pictures of myself and veggie out.Plus, today I had a shitty day so I was trying to cheer myself up.. My best friend is pissed at me because her best friend and I have been talking. It's a mess. She doesn't want anything happening between us. I've tried to tell her that we are adults and that we can do what we want.. but at this point she's threatening to kick me out..
I am NOT enjoying the cold.

Eli. 21 in march. Pre everything







( plus a few more. )

Yo. I'm Rebecca. I introduced myself once ages ago but I never posted here after that, though I occasionally comment. I never thought I had anything to say or bring to the proverbial table. Then I wrote this journal entry and I was like, "Hey." So anyway this is my first non-introductory post.



Tonight, my girlfriend asked me if I had ever considered a sex change. This partially excited me because I feel like in most places where I work or live, it is a taboo subject, and I really just want to be able to talk about it freely and openly, like we'd discuss what we want for lunch or what we think about this book or movie. Any gender stuff at all, whether or not the discussion involves transsexuality, is so interesting to me--yet for some reason a lot of people willingly block transsexuality out of it.

Anyway, so I was just sitting here being awake and on the Internets and pondering this and being like, "Why not use this as an opportunity to ramble about myself in a public sphere? It's fun!"

I have indeed been in periods where I heavily contemplate the state of my femaleness, or lackthereof, or total differentness, and whether that is "male" and whether I am unhappy with anything about my femaleness, or whether I am desiring of physical maleness. I even picked a male name out for myself in the possible event that I concluded a sex- and gender-change is "for me."

Definitely, there is a maleness to my personality and my sexuality. Although I tried to deny and to push it toward the back of my consciousness in early childhood, and only timidly and privately addressed it throughout my adolescence, having it manifest many times more frequently and unwittingly through outlandish, rebellious, and overtly sexual ways (one could argue it was a sort of secondary "male adolescence" I guess), when I began reading about gender in my early 20s (feels weird to say that, haha, since I'm still technically IN my early 20s...), I became excited and, soon, liberated by coming to see the various ways one can experience and express their gender and sex. It is not so set in stone, so ~binary~. It is fluid, amorphous, many things, a spectrum.

It's okay to be female and male at the same time, in varying degrees and intensity. This doesn't have to be a conflict. It can be a marriage.

Let me do a total re-introduction. Nat 22, gender chopp`d & screwed.

i_hope_that
For many of us, the holidays can be kind of rough. If you're searching for a network of understanding friends, this ultra-nurturing community encourages you to express your heartfelt wishes and offer other members encouragement and acceptance. Not for the terminally snarky or emotionally-challenged, this is a good-spirited place to lend comfort and support.

diygifts
Feeling crafty? If you've got a few last folks on your holiday gift list, this is a great place to seed your creativity and generosity. You'll also discover wonderful DIY tips to decorate your home and entertain guests. Offering a no-frills-no-skills attitude that welcomes the cash-challenged and arts-phobic, you're sure to get ideas and make friends in the process.

cooking_club
A fun and friendly community dedicated to those who love to cook, whether you're a meat-and-potatoes type, an aspiring gourmand, and/or a vegan. In search of a brilliant dish to use up those weekly leftovers? Post your ingredients and you'll be whipping up a feast by dinner. You can also share favorite recipes. For Type A chefs, you can spice up your culinary repertoire with exciting cooking challenges.

Hey this is probably not allowed here but I thought I'd give it a try any way but Im starting this blog about my everyday life and I kind of need people to actually read this thing so im doing the advertising thing. You can delete this post if this is not allowed, but i talk about pretty much everything so don't be afraid to check it out.

Here's the link

http://moswaggz.blogspot.com/

Live in or near Hollywood? Want to protest criminalization of homosexuality, specifically the murderous Ugandan bill against LGBT people? Well, it's happening TUESDAY, the 22nd!


cliiiick http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=211085097067


From the event coordinator:

Date: Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Time: 10:00am - 1:00pm
Location: 7095 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA


"The Ugandan government has proposed a bill entitled the "Anti-Homosexuality" bill. If this bill is passed, it would mean the legalization of genocide against lgbt people in Uganda.

"The protest is located outside of the L.A Honorary Consul to Uganda's office. His name is Matthew Crouch. After repeatedly calling and emailing his office he has still failed to provide the public with a statement regarding his stance on the bill. This failure to act on such a serious issue is reason enough to protest outside of his office."

My name is Joanna, 31 years old, and I've been a member of this community for a few years now, though I have never posted before. I honestly couldn't tell you what I am. I guess I've always been confused and feel as though I am ever fated to be so.

I have always found myself sexually attracted to men, but I have had crushes on a few females before. However, I can never quite imagine myself with a woman sexually. I have always been thought of by other people, as a first impression, a lesbian, as I have never been girly in my life, much to the dismay of my mother. It's just not a part of my being I suppose.

I've always felt as though I'm really a guy. And when I say that I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body, I'm not joking. However, I don't think of changing myself into one either...I just wish I had been born one. Sometimes though, and I mean sometimes, I don't mind being a woman.

I suppose this isn't much of an introduction. I feel as though I'm not really saying what I mean to say here.

I guess I could end this in saying that I truly do identify with those of you on here.

I am hear, I am confused, and today...it's not so bad.

Thank you!

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

I feel empowered when the sun is up. Nothing can get me down. I am strong, confident, awesome. I have amazing hair, awesome friends, a great imagination and personality. I may not know what I want to do with my life as a whole, but I am creative and have several ideas on what I CAN do. When the sun is down, I feel listless and depressed. I think to myself, "Why am I doing all this? Everybody hates me now". I get very lonely. Give me some hot cider and someone to keep me company, or someone to talk to, and I generally spring right back up and remember that it's not so bad, really. Thank you Winter, for taking and providing, but still being generally lovely. You are a moodswung mistress and I love you. I have Before and After photos! I absolutely LOVE B&A pics, so if you guys have links to some yourself, I would love to see. c: ( pics under cut )

So I've been with Keri for almost a year now and I love her with all of my heart. She is the best person I have ever met, and even though I've made mistakes she has stood by me and she knows I will always stand by her. When she first told me she was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder when she was 18 I wasn't really surprised. She told me that because of her family and the way her life is that she would never transition, but then one day she sidelined me telling me she was really serious about transitioning. I was really upset at first, scared she would change when she started taking testosterone but I'm at a point where I am very supportive and I've let go of the selfish part of me that wanted her to stay how she is. I want her to be happy because I don't want to marry her and then when she's 55 being miserable because she never lived life how she wanted and then for things to become bad between us. I want her to live her life to its full potential, and I want to be there with her through it all.

Today she got her prescription for testosterone!!! We're both so excited. She gets her first injection on Tuesday, and I'm going with her. But even though I am feel that inside she is a male, there is still one problem. I feel like I will never be able to use male pronouns when I talk about her just because I've known her as a girl. She says she honestly doesn't care and that she wants to just be seen as how she feels on the inside, but I know that it would be hard for her to hear me calling her a girl all the time when really she is not.

So my questions to any transguys, or girlfriends of transguys or even ex girlfriends who dated their significant other before they transitioned are: Did you find it hard to start to use male pronouns? Did you find it easier once you started to see the changes for yourself? If your significant other was close with your parents before the transition, how did you explain to your parents? What are some things I can do or say to help make this easier for Keri, considering her family isn't very open to the idea of Keri transitioning?

Just for fun here are some pictures!

( me and keri! )

So I had the most wonderful night last night!
I came out to my bestie in the whole wide Washington state as trans, and he was wonderfully accepting... thus far the most accepting person I've come out to in my family/friends.

also, I shaved the sides of my head... I'm not sure how much I like it myself

Maybe I'll like it more when It grows out?

Just checking in, my finals week is almost over and I need a break! I'm newly single, and I'm so bored. Its like I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. Blah. So my question is- What are your holiday plans? ( So it's not only text! )

I find myself in a constant state of sex and gender flux, but the constant seems to be more "gay" leaning. I went through a trans period, where I shaved my head and took a man's name, but during that period, my partner was male. My hair has since grown back, and I've taken on a very, very femme identity for the first time in my life (Skirts! Heels! My God!), and this newfound femininity has me leaning towards finding a female partner. I tend to date the gender I'm "impersonating."

Anyone else do this?

Having short hair means that you are constantly in desperate need of a haircut.
Will you comment with either a photo of your hair and/or a hairstyle you adore?
I want something new and refreshing. And birly, of course.
Thank you! :)

( Cuts I am currently loving )

Hey all! I haven't posted in a while, but here is a video post summing up my happiness today


(This is going to be posted almost anywhere I can post. My bad, I'm just excited and want to share)